What?? A Review?? How Unusual! Breathers: A Zombie's Lament

Yeah, I know. I'm lame. The month is over 2/3's over and I've barely had time to review any books. Of course, I'm going to make this a banner reading year. I've already completed 5 books. Hopefully, I can manage to get all of my reviews in a little quicker this year!! I picked up Breathers: A Zombie's Lament by S. G. Browne (320 pgs, Broadway Books, 2009) for one reason only: Chris' recommendation. Which makes it a selection for the 20/10 challenge - Bad Bloggers Category!! Well...that and I happen to love Zombies!!

I wake up on the floor in the darkness.

This is the tale of Andy Warner, zombie. He reanimated after a car crash killed him and his wife. In this world, sometimes the dead reanimate and become zombies. Although there are a lot of different theories, no one actually knows why this happens. It just does. Now Andy lives in his parent's wine cellar. Andy's father can barely contain his disgust over having a zombie for a son. His mother can't even touch him without rubber gloves, Lysol and a can of air freshener (sorry, but zombies are still decaying!) At at least he isn't in a kennel at the SPCA or worse.

When Andy isn't drinking wine or VO5 Shampoo (if you've never needed a daily intake of formaldehyde to keep your decomposition rate slow, you probably wouldn't understand!), he is attending UA meetings. Undead Anonymous is group therapy for the recently undead. Because it takes some adjustment to being a zombie. Literally at the bottom of the food chain, zombies in our society have no rights whatsoever. If a zombie doesn't have a human (or "breather") guardian to claim him, he can be shipped off to a research facility or become a crash test dummy or worse (and yes, there really is a worse!)

It's at the UA meetings that Andy comes to realize how much has been taken away from him after he reanimated. But with the help of his new friends and the lovely Rita, Andy decides it's time for Zombies to have rights too.

Man, where do I begin?? This book is part romance, part zombie/horror, part black comedy and part social statement. It opens with Andy finding out that in a drunken state he murdered, mutilated and stuffed his parents in the side-by-side frig. (not a spoiler...this happens by page 2). The first half of the book shows us how Andy got to this point....then the aftermath. So funny in parts you just can't help giggling, it's a hard book to put down. Andy is such a great character, but in a really warped sort of way. Kind of like Tony Soprano. I mean, when watching The Sopranos, Tony is the anti-hero. You WANT him to succeed. You don't want to see him get arrested, even though you KNOW he's a bad guy. You KNOW he's a killer and had his best friend whacked. And yet, you still cheer him on. Andy is like that. You want him to find happiness with Rita. You want him to win his fight for zombie oppression. And yet, he's still a flesh-eating zombie.

Even through the dark humor of the book, is the underlying social statement of racism, bigotry, and discrimination. Zombies have no rights at all, even though they USED to be human. Are they still? Can you be undead, and yet still have your humanity?? Lots of questions.

But mostly, it's just tongue-in-cheek, black humor. "You don't find many zombies in the southern states, since heat tends to speed up decomposition. That and when you're a zombie in a region that has a reputation of prejudice against minorities and outsiders, you tend to stick out like good taste in a country-western bar."

"Maybe it's just me, but a bunch of reanimated corpses wandering around a graveyard after ten o'clock on a Friday night isn't exactly the best way to break the zombie stereotype."

"Eventually, someone's going to realize my parents aren't home and even if I've managed to get rid of the physical evidence, I'm going to be suspected in their disappearance. But once you eat part of your mother during a candlelight dinner with your undead girlfriend, you pretty much know that you've chosen a path most people just aren't going to understand."

This book is one of those rare gems that you pick up, not knowing that much about....and find out how truly fabulous it is!! If you like zombies, read this book. If you like to laugh, read this book. Hell, it's fun. Read it for no other reason than that!! 4.5/5

Zombies Are all the Rage: Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan

Usually I'm pretty good at keeping up with my reviews. I have had days when I was struggling to find something to post about. But with the crazy last few weeks, I am not one, not two, but *4* reviews behind!! And I have other things to post. So hopefully, this will be a banner month of posting for me!! Today, the review is for Carrie Ryan's Zombie-themed book, The Forest of Hands and Teeth (320 pgs, Delacorte Books, 2009). It is a YA book (of course) and I am using it as a selection for the YA Dystopian Challenge.

My mother used to tell me about the ocean. She said there was a place where there was nothing but water as far as you could see and that it was always moving, rushing toward you and then away. She once showed me a picture that she said was my great-great-great-grandmother standing in the ocean as a child. It's been years since, and the picture was lost to fire long ago, but I remember it, faded and worn. A little girl surrounded by nothingness.

In a post-apocalyptic time, there are few things certain in Mary's life. She has recently lost both her mother and her father to the Forest of Hands and Teeth. The forest is where the "Unconsecrated", or Zombies live. Her village is a little island of humanity in the middle of the forest. Surrounded by fences and watchtowers, the villagers have made a life for themselves amongst the un-dead. They are ruled by The Sisterhood, an order of religious women that control all the aspects of life in the lone village. And they are protected by The Guardians, men who defend the village against breaches in the fence system that would allow the Unconsecrated into the village. This is the only life that Mary has ever known. She was born long after The Return, and knows the concept of loss very well.

But for Mary and the other girls of the village, life only offers 3 choices. You can live with your family. But Mary's only family is her brother, and he blames her for their mother's "death". There is marriage. But marriage in the village is not about love. It is about preservation of the race. One has to be spoken for, then the couple will be bound for life. Mary's friend Harry has taken an interest in her, and she is positive that he is going to ask for her hand. Unfortunately, she is head-over-heels in love with Harry's brother, Travis. The only other option is to join The Sisterhood. And that requires a faith that Mary just doesn't have anymore.

But when a new, fast-moving zombie breaches the perimeter, everything changes. All the years of planning by the Sisterhood and the Guardians has gone out the window because Mary and a handful of others become the only survivors. Now they are on the run, one step ahead of the Unconsecrated and they are out to find if there is anything outside the Forest of Hands and Teeth.

For all the glowing reviews I had read of this book, I really expected to love it. And while I enjoyed the book, love it I didn't. I had a few problems with it, to be honest. Maybe it's me and I'm just reading too much into a YA Zombie book. Maybe it's just meant to be fun (or as much fun as a book of zombies can be about!) But I actually found myself reading it and finding a few moral conundrums. Most of this book is centered around Mary and her incredible need for things she can't have. And I found her to be a really selfish person. One might say that she really only followed her heart....trying to make all her dreams come true. I'm all about dreaming and reaching for the stars. I am. I think every person should have dreams. And dream big. I encourage it in my own kids. But when your quest to fulfill your life not only hurts people emotionally, but hurts people physically, where do you draw the line? Do you give up on something to save the people you supposedly care about?? Or do you do whatever it takes to make that dream a reality, no matter who you hurt? Does living in a world where death is literally looking over the fence at you on a daily basis make a difference? Do new rules apply?

See? Maybe I am making too much out of nothing. But Mary just bothered me. (SMALL SPOILER ALERT). She spent most of the first part of the book pining over Travis. So in love with him, she could think of nothing else. Even when she was bound to his brother, she would do just about anything for Travis, even though it hurt her friends. THEN, when she gets the guy, she's bored with him. He's just not enough to make her happy. She ALWAYS seemed to be putting her needs above everyone else's. And that bothered me. Alot. Again, maybe I'm trying to put more into it than I should. Or maybe, in a world where death is so close all the time, one's needs become more important. Still, I would have liked to see more compassion and less narcissism.

But other than my problems with the main character, I loved the storyline. With the YA world bursting the seams with vampires, this new line of zombie stories is rather refreshing. And Carrie Ryan has a knack for story telling. She has created a very believable world in a place and time that should be completely unbelievable. Besides, she's a hopeless romantic to boot:

"The Sisterhood has it wrong," he says. "It's not about surviving. It should be about love. When you know love...that's what makes this life worth it. When you live with it every day. Wake up with it, hold on to it during the thunder and after a nightmare. When love is your refuge from the death that surrounds us all and when it fills you so tight that you can't express it." He rocks forward and backward as tears stream down his face.

See? Isn't that nice? A sentiment I agree with!! Of course, I didn't love this story, but I did like it, and I'm anxious to see where the next book takes us. (supposedly this is one of a trilogy, with The Dead-Tossed Waves set to be released in March.) If you are a fan of YA paranormal, then this might be the book for you. Especially if you a fan of Zombies!! 3.5/5