Sunday, September 7, 2008

The Sunday Salon - Out of Kilter

The Sunday Salon.comKilter. It's a weird looking word, isn't it?? According to Merriam-Webster it means "proper or usual state of condition" or "order". That's me. I felt "out of order" this week. But here's the kicker. I really don't know why.

I have a list of things a mile long that need to get accomplished. And nothing is getting done. I've gone to work, I've taken care of the kiddies....and that's about it. Has the shopping been done? Nope. Still need to get to the store today. And the dollar store. Need laundry detergent and cleaning stuff. Has the laundry been done? Nope, check the first entry. It's amazing the amount of laundry that can pile up with 5 people in a house. If you miss just one day, it's like the pile will never end. Has the basement been cleaned? Nope, still looks like a cyclone hit it. Have the dishes been done? Nope. The kitchen is in about the same state of emergency that the basement is in. Did I finish the book review I started? Nope. Just couldn't find the words. Did I finish up the application for the new job I'm looking at? Nope...and that MUST be done and submitted electronically today.

So...what is wrong with me?? I just came off 5 days off from the Red Cross. You would think that I would be back in the saddle again, so to speak. But even at work this week, I was feeling out of sorts. I can tell you this. I know my TSH levels are out of whack again. When I had my thyroid removed, I knew I had to take medication for the rest of my life. And I'm good with that. But I'm not so good with remembering. And that's part of it. There are days I'm in a hurry all the time, and sometimes I just completely forget. And lately, I've been trying to spread it out a little. The Synthroid I take isn't covered by my "prescription" plan. Why? Because my doctor won't give me the generic form. With a generic form available, I have to pay full-price for mine. Why won't he do this? He told me there really is a difference, and because I had cancer to go with my thyroid, he wants me to take the actual drug. You would think my plan would understand this....but no. It's all about the almighty dollar anymore. And since we are lacking in those almighty dollars, I've been trying to save by cutting down on my meds. Stupid, isn't it? I guess I never claimed to be all that bright! OK...I DO claim that, but in this case, not so much. But now, I'm feeling all weird, so back on the meds full-time it is. I guess I'll just have to work a few extra hours a week to make up for it.

And I haven't been sleeping that great lately. I just can't sleep for extended periods of time. After about 3 hours, I'm up. Then I'll nap a few hours more. It's starting to wear on me. And give me headaches. I think I really need to go back to the chiropractor for an adjustment. My neck has been bothering me. And when it hurts, it goes straight to my head.

But all of that aside, I'm still have a list of things a mile long to do. And yet, here I sit on the computer with you!! This does seem to be the one thing that pulls me back to reality. And if I go for long periods without blogging or blog-hopping, it starts to make me a crazy person. Am I addicted?? Damn right!!

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As far as reading, here is my Sunday Salon Report: I finished The Bleeding Dusk by Colleen Gleason. It is Book 3 in the Gardella Vampire Series. Did I like it? Hell yeah! I loved it!! So much so, that I had to go ahead and pull out When Twilight Burns already. I'm too impatient to wait any longer to read it. I also started The Good Thief by Hannah Tinti. I picked it up through the Amazon Vine program and I'm about half-way done. It is really a good book! Not at all what I was expecting. An adventure, it is. I also pulled out Everything's Eventual by Stephen King to read for Short-Story Monday's this RIP season. I miss my Short-Story Monday's! After that....who knows. I guess we will read where the wind takes us!! I also got the OK for an interview with Ms. Adrienne Barbeau!! Yeah, me!! (in the words of London Tipton. If you have kids that watch the Disney channel, you'll get it!) I have to shore up my questions and send them out. I'm SO looking forward to this!!

Happy Sunday and Happy Reading!!

16 comments:

Rich said...

Oh Stephanie, please, please, please take your meds! This just broke my heart to read! Please skimp somewhere else, but not there. You DESERVE to feel good! And your family will be better off if you're feeling good, too. I'll just never understand why we can't get our act together in this country and do something real about health care. I just don't get it.

Anyway, I do hope you have a much better week ahead! And I can't wait for more short story Mondays!

Debi said...

Oops. That above comment was actually me...forgot my husband had been on the computer. Sorry.

Stephanie said...

Debi - Oh, I Know. It really started with me forgetting. When I switched up schedules, it threw me out of balance. And I kept forgetting. Then I just figured, I'm fine without it a few days a week. Maybe I can save a few dollars that way. It kills me that I'm watching our finances so much. Seriously, I could talk for days on it. When Mike lost his $30/hr automotive job to go to a $10/hr forklift job, we lost a lot of our savings. Car payments, mortgage payements all stayed the same. Gas and electric, groceries and water all shot up. Things just got out of hand quickly. We are finally getting a bit of a handle on it. But it's been rough.

The past few weeks I finally think I realized how bad it's affected me. And skipping out on the synthroid and other meds isn't the answer. And to think, I always considered myself a smart person. Duh. That was pretty stupid.

But since Thursday, I've been back on them full-time, and I'm starting to feel a bit better. Give me another week, and I'll be fine!

But thank you so much for your concern. It makes me feel even better to know I have friends out there, "looking out" for me!

Debi said...

I don't think "stupid" is the right word at all, Stephanie! Unless you want to apply it to the way health care is dealt with in this country. How can it be that someone can work so hard and still not be able to afford a medicine that they truly need?!! That's what stupid! And believe me, I know you all aren't out there spending money on lavish vacations and a closet full of designer clothes...so this choice to skimp on your meds is being forced on you. But I do hope you'll find another way to do it...and I in NO WAY consider YOU stupid!

Laura said...

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling out of kilter. I hope you start feeling back to normal soon! How frustrating that the brand name medication isn't covered! If it really is different than the generic, then insurance should cover it!

I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts on The Good Thief!

Ladytink_534 said...

I've got to do laundry and dishes today but first I've got to go pick up detergent too lol. Lot's of good books there! Everything's Eventual is not my favorite Stephen King short story collection but it is good.

Iliana said...

that's great news about your interview with Adrienne Barbeau - now that's something to look forward to right?

I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling off-kilter Stephanie. It does suck that being healthy/remaining healthy is so costly! Is there anyway you can fight with the insurance about this? I mean, if the doctor is saying it must be the name-brand then it's not like you have any choice.

Nymeth said...

I'm really sorry you haven't been feeling well, Stephanie. But I'm glad to hear you're taking your meds again. I understand that the situation that made you do that is in no way your fault, thought, and you are definitely NOT stupid. But yeah, health comes first, and everything else will be easier to deal with if you're feeling well.

Good luck with that job application, and congrats on the interview! I look forward to it.

Clare Dudman said...

Just adding my voice to all the rest. I do understand. I've done a bit of that myself - somehow you think you can get away with it (in my case not taking my inhaler for a bit of asthma)but you can't, really. Anyway, my sympathies - but everyone's right. Health does come first and hope you're feeling much better soon.

tanabata said...

Sorry you've been feeling off-kilter lately but I agree with everyone else that your health is the most important. Hope you're feeling back to normal soon.
And have fun with When Twilight Burns! :)

samantha.1020 said...

I agree with Debi on this one. Meds are important. Hope everything is better for you this week.

Bookfool said...

Stephanie,

I just read all your comments because you had me so worried. I'm glad you're taking your meds and feeling better. The cost of prescriptions and our messed-up health care system just baffle me. It's not unusual for people to go without and that just shouldn't happen.

Colleen's books are always a great pick-me-up, aren't they?

Oh, Iliana has a point. There was a time that I let my son go without a fluoride supplement because everywhere else in town the water was fluoridated. I didn't realize that the pediatrician was willing to write a letter to the insurance company, so we didn't get that covered until he had been going without for 7 or 8 years (it was simply not within our means to pay full price). Kiddo actually ended up with 5 cavities because I didn't think to ask. Do ask if your doctor can write a letter saying that you need the real drug because the difference between name brand and generic is not acceptable.

Table Talk said...

Just adding my voice as well to say that I do understand this dilemma. However much you think you've accepted the life long diagnosis there seems to be something in us that wants it not to be the case and 'helps' us to forget what we wish we didn't have to do. But do fight the insurance people, Stephanie. How can we put a price on health?

Bobbi said...

I love the Gardella Vampire Series! Colleen has the cover art up on her site for next year's new book!

Book Calendar said...

Sometimes writing down what you need to do on a blog gets you to do it. I often write down inane things about what I am doing. Drinking coffee, weeding books, dusting off my desk, reading books in the laundromat. It is a way to convince me sometimes to do little things when I would rather stare at the ceiling and shuffle paper.

So once you've written it down, go out and do it. You will feel you have accomplished something because you wrote it down before. You also wrote it down where everyone can see it. Take your meds because you said you will. It will be good for you.

Writing a blog sometimes has to do with self motivation.

Trish said...

Ha ha--Stephanie you make me laugh! Want to hear about another addict? I make lists of things that I need to do and include blogging on it so that I don't feel like I am cheating myself out of my to-do list. :) Somehow blogging is way more fun than doing other chores!

Anyway--hope you get back on kilter again soon.