What?? A Review?? How Unusual! Breathers: A Zombie's Lament

Yeah, I know. I'm lame. The month is over 2/3's over and I've barely had time to review any books. Of course, I'm going to make this a banner reading year. I've already completed 5 books. Hopefully, I can manage to get all of my reviews in a little quicker this year!! I picked up Breathers: A Zombie's Lament by S. G. Browne (320 pgs, Broadway Books, 2009) for one reason only: Chris' recommendation. Which makes it a selection for the 20/10 challenge - Bad Bloggers Category!! Well...that and I happen to love Zombies!!

I wake up on the floor in the darkness.

This is the tale of Andy Warner, zombie. He reanimated after a car crash killed him and his wife. In this world, sometimes the dead reanimate and become zombies. Although there are a lot of different theories, no one actually knows why this happens. It just does. Now Andy lives in his parent's wine cellar. Andy's father can barely contain his disgust over having a zombie for a son. His mother can't even touch him without rubber gloves, Lysol and a can of air freshener (sorry, but zombies are still decaying!) At at least he isn't in a kennel at the SPCA or worse.

When Andy isn't drinking wine or VO5 Shampoo (if you've never needed a daily intake of formaldehyde to keep your decomposition rate slow, you probably wouldn't understand!), he is attending UA meetings. Undead Anonymous is group therapy for the recently undead. Because it takes some adjustment to being a zombie. Literally at the bottom of the food chain, zombies in our society have no rights whatsoever. If a zombie doesn't have a human (or "breather") guardian to claim him, he can be shipped off to a research facility or become a crash test dummy or worse (and yes, there really is a worse!)

It's at the UA meetings that Andy comes to realize how much has been taken away from him after he reanimated. But with the help of his new friends and the lovely Rita, Andy decides it's time for Zombies to have rights too.

Man, where do I begin?? This book is part romance, part zombie/horror, part black comedy and part social statement. It opens with Andy finding out that in a drunken state he murdered, mutilated and stuffed his parents in the side-by-side frig. (not a spoiler...this happens by page 2). The first half of the book shows us how Andy got to this point....then the aftermath. So funny in parts you just can't help giggling, it's a hard book to put down. Andy is such a great character, but in a really warped sort of way. Kind of like Tony Soprano. I mean, when watching The Sopranos, Tony is the anti-hero. You WANT him to succeed. You don't want to see him get arrested, even though you KNOW he's a bad guy. You KNOW he's a killer and had his best friend whacked. And yet, you still cheer him on. Andy is like that. You want him to find happiness with Rita. You want him to win his fight for zombie oppression. And yet, he's still a flesh-eating zombie.

Even through the dark humor of the book, is the underlying social statement of racism, bigotry, and discrimination. Zombies have no rights at all, even though they USED to be human. Are they still? Can you be undead, and yet still have your humanity?? Lots of questions.

But mostly, it's just tongue-in-cheek, black humor. "You don't find many zombies in the southern states, since heat tends to speed up decomposition. That and when you're a zombie in a region that has a reputation of prejudice against minorities and outsiders, you tend to stick out like good taste in a country-western bar."

"Maybe it's just me, but a bunch of reanimated corpses wandering around a graveyard after ten o'clock on a Friday night isn't exactly the best way to break the zombie stereotype."

"Eventually, someone's going to realize my parents aren't home and even if I've managed to get rid of the physical evidence, I'm going to be suspected in their disappearance. But once you eat part of your mother during a candlelight dinner with your undead girlfriend, you pretty much know that you've chosen a path most people just aren't going to understand."

This book is one of those rare gems that you pick up, not knowing that much about....and find out how truly fabulous it is!! If you like zombies, read this book. If you like to laugh, read this book. Hell, it's fun. Read it for no other reason than that!! 4.5/5

Another 2009 Review: Monster by A. Lee Martinez

I guess if I could get my act together and finish reviewing all the books I read in 2009, I might actually get to the current years! It's weird, because I'm usually not this far behind. And I should probably be doing, I don't know, mini-reviews? But so far, each book I've read deserves its own full-blown review. As does this book, Monster by A. Lee Martinez (304 pgs, Orbit, 2009). This book was a 100% purely impulse read. Not for a challenge or because I'd seen it reviewed on someone's blog or I'd read something else from the author. Nope. None of those things. I saw it, I liked the cover, I decided to read it.

The thing was big and white and hairy, and it was eating all the ice cream in the walk-in freezer. Four dozen chewed-up empty cartons testified that it had already devoured half of the inventory and it wasn't full yet. From the safety of the doorway, Judy watched it stuff an entire carton of Choc-O-Chiptastic Fudge into it's mouth with a slurp. The creature turned it's head slightly and sniffed. It had vaguely human features, except its face was blue and it's nostrils and mouth impossibly huge. It fixed a cobalt eye on her and snorted. Judy beat a hasty retreat and walked to the produce aisle where Dave was stocking lettuce. "I thought I asked you to stock the ice cream," he said. "No need," she said, "Yeti is eating it all.".

When a couple of Yeti's decide to run amok one night at the Food Plus Mart, Judy, a 3rd-shift stock-girl, has her first encounter with Monster. Finding no one else to call for help, she decides on Animal Control, even though she's sure they won't believe her. But when she calls, Animal Control transfers her to the Cryptobiological Containment and Rescue Services. And they send out an agent: Monster, who happens to be be blue tonight. (He was bit by a basilisk, and the anti-venom treatment left him with an "unstable enchantment". IE, he changes colors each time he wakes up. And with each color comes some bizarre side effect! Blue is good. It means he's invincible.) With Chester, his paper gnome assistant (who's really a 6th-dimensional entity using the paper gnome as a way to interact on this plane), Monster spends his nights catching cryptobiological creatures.

See...there is magic that fills the world today. But not everyone can see it. Merlin's Lobe is a cluster of nerves in the brain, dealing with the perception of magic. In most humans, or incognizants, the lobe is not developed. These people can't see magic, even if it's right in front of them. There are also a few people that CAN recognize magic, but they forget about it almost as soon as it's not in front of their faces. They are light-cognizants, and that is what Judy seems to be. Once the Yetis have been dispatched, she completely forgets she ever saw them.

But Judy seems to be a magnet for all things magic. After the Yeti incident, she comes across a bunch of trolls, a kojin that destroys her apartment, an Inuit walrus dog-type monster, and a hydra, just to name a few creatures. A little too much to be a coincidence. But why are all these strange things happening to Judy? And will Monster be able to help her and save the world at the same time?

I have to say, I picked up this book on a complete whim. I hadn't heard anything about it. I hadn't read anything by the author. But the cover TOTALLY stood out and I loved it! After reading the first page, I knew I hadn't made a mistake. This book was hilarious! Tongue-in-cheek humor paired with all sorts of mythical creatures. What more could a person ask for? Oh yeah, did I mention that the entire fate of the universe is at stake?

As much fun as this book was, there were a few downfalls. Neither Monster, nor Judy were very likable. I'm not sure it it's planned that way, or if the character development just fell a little flat. You don't even feel very sorry for Monster, when his girlfriend from Hell (literally...she's a succubus from the Fiery Pits) makes his life miserable. If it wasn't for Chester, the paper gnome, Monster would be completely unsympathetic as a character. He's rough around the edges and bends over backwards to NOT get involved with people.

But see for yourself how much fun and how witty the writing really is: She didn't like to talk about it, but sin was a high-pressure job. It wasn't hard to get people to do bad things, but competition was stiff in her demon-eat-demon world. A demon was only as good as her last inspired atrocity, and even that didn't count for much.

He ran for the house as lightning bolts and miniature meteorites exploded around him. A shard sliced him across the cheek, and Monster learned that Elvis's downfall was engineered by vampires, that a dairy farm in Iowa had several super intelligent cows plotting the overthrow of the human race, and the mathematical equation for cold fusion, which he forgot almost immediately.

But Martinez also has a pretty good take on humanity itself: "Do you know what separates humanity from the other beasts of the world?" asked Lotus. "It's not the ability to make tools or complex language or any of that other nonsense you tell yourselves. No, humans are unique in all this world because they are the only creatures that can make themselves miserable. And do you know how you do it? You do it by expecting to be happy. You're so busy thinking about happiness, obsessing about finding it and why it isn't where you expect it to be, that you completely miss the point.

Pretty spot on, don't you think? Regardless of some of the problems, Monster is a really fun book to read. A book for 100% pure enjoyment purposes. I would definitely recommend this book! 4.25/5

A Few New Challenges

Goodness, it's been WEEKS since I've signed up for a challenge!! I didn't honestly realize how many challenges take place everyday in the book blogging world. When I first started blogging, I signed up for EVERYTHING. But with the influx of book bloggers and the subsequent increase in challenges, as well as my final realization that I would never be able to complete them all, I've kind of taken a break from them. But every great while a good one comes along, and I'm in. For better or worse!

Hosted by Bart's Bookshelf, the YA Dystopian Reading Challenge just kind of jumped out at me!! YA and Dystopian/speculative fiction are two of my very favorite genres. Put them both together: even better. The challenge takes place from October 15 to the end of the year (shhhhhh, I already started my book!)

"Dystopia (from the Greek δυσ- and τόπος, alternatively, cacotopia, kakotopia, cackotopia, or anti-utopia) is the vision of a society in which conditions of life are miserable and characterized by poverty, oppression, war, violence, disease, pollution, nuclear fallout and/or the abridgement of human rights, resulting in widespread unhappiness, suffering, and other kinds of pain. (Source: Wikipedia)"

The idea is to have fun with this, and as I know with the year-end rapidly approaching, thoughts will be turning to completing all the other challenges we are all signed up to! So your level of participation is up to you, simply pick a target of between 1 & 4 books to read during the two and a half months of the challenge.


It’s that easy.


Those are the rules. That's it. 1 - 4 books by the end of the year is something I can accomplish. Although you don't have to make a list, I usually do. It's easier for me to keep track, although I always reserve the right to change my mind and change books!!

• The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness (I'm reading this right now. Oh it is SO Good!)
• The Ask and the Answer by Patrick Ness (I have a feeling, I will HAVE to read this book after I finish the first!)
• The Dead and the Gone by Susan Beth Pfeffer
• Uglies, Pretties, Specials, Extras by Scott Westerfeld (doubt I can get through all of them, but I'd love to get a start on the series! )
• Feed by M. T. Anderson
• Exodus by Julie Bertanga

Oh, yeah. I'll be able to get some great books out of that list!!

The Countdown 2010 Challenge is hosted by Michelle from 1 More Chapter. I haven't participated in this one before, but I like the idea! It's a countdown through the decade. 10 from 10, 9 from '09, 8 from '08....you get the picture.

The goal of this challenge is to read the number of books first published in a given year that corresponds to the last digit of each year in the 2000s — 10 books from 2010, 9 books from 2009, 8 books from 2008, etc. The total number of books required, therefore, is 55.
This challenge lasts from 9/9/09 through 10/10/10.
Crossovers with other challenges are allowed and your lists may change at any time.
Sign up using Mr. Linky.
Have fun reading!

So far, I don't have a list. That will be forthcoming. I need to do a lot of research on this one. But the lists are the best part of the challenges!

Finally, the Childhood Favorite reads 2009 - 10 is hosted by Deb from Debbie's World of Books. It's a chance to go back and read some of your favorites from your youth! I'm a little late in starting this one. It started on the 2nd, but hey. Who cares, right?

Guidelines:
Read 5 books that were favorites while growing up
If you would also just like to write a post high lighting your favorite book or series feel free to
Post your reviews or book/series highlight here
Challenge starts today and will end June 30, 2010.
I will do summary posts periodically highlighting the reviews added so far.

My list will look something like this:

• Nancy Drew Mysteries by Carolyne Keene
• Trixie Belden Mysteries by Julie Campbell
• The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
• The Time Quartet by Madeleine L'Engle

OK, dear Readers. Let's get started!!